So I’ve discovered recently, that I separate my friends into two very distinct groups. One group, which is the majority, is full of my friends who I see as..well…more like younger siblings, people I have to protect, people I have to look out for and make sure they’re alright, people i worry about all the time because I’m unsure if they’ll be alright by themselves. I see them more as family, but not in a good way. They’re always trying to help me, ease any and all burdens i may have, and i know that sounds like a good thing but it isn’t, it really isn’t. They’re so soft and nice and kind, they’re so caring and sweet and innocent. And this is a hard, mean, cruel world we live. And though I care deeply about them, though I worry about them and try to ensure their safety at all costs, they’re people i could easily forget about, people who i could never truly open up to, let them know whats going on in my mind, because they care so much, because they want to help me, because they see me as someone who needs their help. Group number two, the minority of these two groups, holds no more than a handful of people. They’re the people, who after i do something stupid, they don’t blame everyone else involved, they don’t go, oh poor nick I’m so sorry, your family’s full of bastards(well it is but still),that person was wrong, we’re here to help. This group is full of people who will listen to me complain, tell me i was an idiot, i screwed up, i made a mistake, it was my fault, and then laugh with me. It’s full of people i trust entirely, people i love more than anything. They know when I need a comforting hand and they know when I need someone to tell me i screwed up.
And I think all this might make me a bad person
I mean, some of my closest friends are in that first group, the group full of caring compassionate people. But still…they just don’t understand, even when I basically scream it at them, they just worry that I’m stressed and that i need to relax.
And that second group, those are the friends that, well honestly, they’re jerks. They make fun of everyone, they laugh at everything, but they don’t mean it, its all in good fun, they’re the best of my friends, the closest to my heart.
and honestly, I don’t know why i just wrote all of this.
its just something that’s been on my mind
how i categorize my friends…and yeah…
the end?
